Unexpected
by Tuiteyfruity
Summary: AU- Tiny!humans: Earth existed in the trolls universe already and it is one of the planets HIC conquered. Instead of completely wiping humanity from existence she relocated them to Alternia. Humans, incidentally, are 1/12th the size of trolls. They are always on the alert because everything on Alternia, including the trolls, eat humans. (Homestuck vore)
1. Chapter 1: Unexpected Savior

A homestuck safe-vore story featuring John and Karkat (and others eventually).

Calm. He was very, very calm. Everything around him was still and quiet. That wasn't right. No, he shouldn't be feeling this amount of tranquility, it was unnatural.

Karkat woke to the feeling of something moving in his stomach. He then realized he had fallen asleep! He shouldn't have, he was on the couch, not his recuperacoon, yet he had fallen asleep and slept soundly. Weird.

He sat up with a jolt, the thing stomach tumbled and yelled. Oh right, Karkat thought as he lay a hand over his stomach, I found and ate a human last morning.

The sun had just begun to rise and he had been in a hurry to get back to his hive when the thing ran into his leg. It didnt move much after that so he had picked it up.  
A human boy, not much younger than himself, and in pretty bad shape. It was still conscious but didnt seem to know what was going on and was covered in bruises and scrapes. Karkat couldn't help but stare at the redness of the blood. Just like his.

He didnt have to eat it. He could have just carried it home. But something about humans, their smell, he could not resist tasting it. it was covered in dirt and blood but a strong indescribable flavor spread across his tongue. After that there was no way he wasn't going to eat it.

The human protested being licked and tried to get out of his grasp. But it was easy to hold onto it. He looked at it in his palm, it was covered in his spit now and looking at him fearfully, sapphire blue eyes shaking.

What it feared would happen was exactly what Karkat did next: put the human into his mouth. With whatever strength it had left it used to attempt to get free or harm him, but it was futile.  
Karkat felt a twinge of guilt but swallowed the human after it had finally given up. It did manage to say "please don't" just as he tipped his head back. It fell into his stomach a few seconds later.

It didnt moved much after that. All Karkat could remember about that point on was arriving home, sitting down on the couch, and turning on the TV. he didnt pay attention to the channel and instead he focused on the human. If he was still enough he could feel it breathing. It was alive, asleep but alive, which was all Karkat needed to know as he finally turned his attention to the TV.

He must have fallen asleep shortly after that. He had no recollection of watching anything, and the TV was still on. Now the human was awake and so was he.

Not really knowing what to do, He just sat there as the human scrambled around in his stomach, fruitlessly trying to find a way out. it tickled and before Karkat could stop himself he started purring. not like a cat purr, more like a frog croak and a cricket chirp. To his disappointment the vibrations shocked the human so much it stopped moving. It didnt matter that he was functionally alone, his face flushed with embarrassment.

"Hello? where am i? is anyone there?"

the voice of the human was clear and rang in his ears; confused, almost as if it had forgotten what happened to it. Pity for the human built up until he made the decision to release it. Not on the couch, he got up and walked to the ablution trap. he had done this before, finding humans wasn't common but this was not the first time he'd eaten one. It was the longest he'd kept one in his stomach. Normally he only held them for a few minutes. Then he'd release them and they׳d run, only this time he had brought it home. The least he could do was let it clean itself up before it too ran back to wherever.

He concentrated and clenched his stomach muscles. The human screamed until it was forced into his throat and had the air crushed out of it. When it entered his mouth the flavors came with it and Karkat found himself purring again. A major part of him wanted to savor the flavor and roll the human around on his tongue, but instead he tipped the human out of his mouth and into his cupped hands.

it shivered as it took stock of its surroundings. Then it froze as it realized where it was and what had just happened to it.

john whipped his head around to face the troll. Large menacing yellow eyes looked back; it was pissed off at him and John couldn't for the life of him guess why. The scowl it wore displayed sharp fangs. It's face was framed by a mess of black hair and it had two short round horns, the only brightly colored thing about the troll beside's it's eyes.

The red saliva dripping from its mouth brought John's mind back on track.

"I- was. Was I just… Was I just where I think I was?"

"I THINK YOUR PEA-SIZED BRAIN CAN FIGURE THAT ONE OUT"

The human cupped his ears against the troll's loud voice. It wasn't as deep as he had expected, pitch-wise it was only a bit lower than his own, but clearly angry.

"But I'm not dead!" said John.

"AND YOUR INTELLIGENCE JUST KEEPS SHINIG THROUGH DOESNT IT? FUCK, IT'S A GOOD THING THE BRAIN POWER OF A HUMAN HAS NO CORRELATION TO HOW GOOD A ONE TASTES CAUSE THAT WOULD BE A FUCKING TRAGEDY! NOW YOU SMELL AWFUL SO EITHER YOU WASH UP OR IM EATING YOU AGAIN"

"What?" John hasn't caught most of what the troll said.

"YOU SMELL LIKE SOME SHIT MY LUSUS BROUGHT BACK!"

Karkat turned the faucet on very low, then he lowered the human into the trap but not under the water. The human stumbled off his hands, it was struggling to stand on its own, and leaned against the sides of the tub as water ran by its feet. It was slightly adorable, but Karkat still watched it carefully just in case it needed help.

John breathed in and gagged, the drying goo covering him was noxious. His legs cramped up and he could barely stand so he leaned against the wall.

"And whose fault is that?" he managed to say without throwing up.

"SHIFTING BLAME WON'T MAKE YOU SMELL BETTER, BUT NEXT TIME FUCKING USE WHATEVER POWER IS IN YOUR PITIFULLY SMALL THINK PAN AND DONT RUN INTO A TROLL."

Karkat rinsed his hands under the water, the whole time the human just watched.

"IS THERE A PROBLEM?" He snapped.

The human stiffened and then fell over face down into the water. It struggled to get up again but when Karkat tried to help it it jerked away from his touch.

"IM JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU! GOG!"

"You've helped me enough, I want to be alone."

"FUCKING HUMANS. FINE BUT IF YOU DROWN DONT BLAME ME."

Karkat stood up and left the room. Since he had spit up the human his now empty stomach had been trying to get his attention. It was angry that he hadn't digested the human and was demanding he actually eat. He snarled at it as if to point out that humans werent even big enough to be a snack as he headed to the kitchen.

John kept his eyes on the troll until it was out of site then he sat down in the shallow, warm, running water. He wanted get rid of the stench of troll spit and stomach mucus, and the lingering red tint.

Part of him could not believe he was alive. he could barely remember being eaten by the troll, mostly just waking up in a strange place and then falling out of its mouth. He supposed if it had meant him harm he wouldn't be sitting here now.

Gingerly he slid himself under the falling water. His whole body hurt, he could feel pulled muscles and sprains. Nothing was broken, as far as he could tell, John thanked his lucky stars.

The giant faucet was a warm waterfall, and John just sat there as the stickiness and aches were washed away. He took off his clothes, even though they were soaked through already; it felt wrong to shower fully dressed.  
But he was also worried that the troll would come back at any moment so he quickly stripped, rung out his clothes and put them back on.

The troll had still not come back. There was no way he could get out of the bathtub on his own, the sides were 15 feet tall and he was only 4.

He lay down under the falling water again. It was nice. It was soothing.

"HEY HUMAN! ARE YOU … OH WOW YOU SURE SLEEP ALOT"

John sat up so fast his brain rattled.

"SORRY TO WAKE YOU BUT I REALIZED YOU'RE SO FUCKING TINY THAT YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY GET OUT BY YOURSELF."

John didnt say anything. He was too much in shock. The troll had come out of nowhere and loomed over him. It still wore a scowl.

"I wasn't asleep" he finally said.

"DONT REALY GIVE A FUCK. I ALSO THOUGHT YOU MUST BE HUNGRY."

At those words John realized he had not eaten for over half a day. but the idea of a troll giving him food… It felt too much like fattening him up to be eaten.

He didnt have much of a choice though as the troll plucked him out from under the water and lay him on a towel. It helped him dry off, not considering that he was fully capable of that. Yet the troll was gentle and careful, and John being so tired, aching, and hungry, he just let the troll do what it wanted. The troll took his complacency the wrong way.

"HEY! DONT FALL ASLEEP! YOU NEED TO EAT SOMETHING FIRST!"

Why was it concerned for him?

His clothes didnt completely dry but John didnt care. He was watching the troll. At any moment it could eat him again, this time for real. Yeah it said it never meant to kill him, but trolls were unpredictable creatures. Plus this one was caring him into a kitchen.

The troll sat down at the small table and released John onto it. Suddenly, John wasn't so hungry anymore and it wasn't due to the unappetizing, thing, on the enormous plate next to him.

Whatever it was, it wasn't helping his appetite. It was a lump the green of a fresh bruise, with things in it that John didnt recognize.

"Uh, I don't think I'm really that hungry," John mumbled .

"DONT FUCKING LIE. LET ME GUESS: NEVER HAD GRUBLOAF BEFORE?" It said.

"Oh is that what that is?" Asked John, "It looks, different than what I've seen."

Grubloaf was one of the many Alternian dishes that humans had taken to making since they were taken from their homeworld. It was easy to make, since the main ingredient was insects (whatever insect could be found in the largest quantity) and one could add anything they wanted. It didnt look like any grubloaf John had eaten, but he suspected that was due to the size if the person who prepared it. It seemed like whole bugs were crushed, exoskeletons and all instead of only the soft insides being used. Plus nothing was as finely ground or mixed.

But knowing what it was and that it was somewhat familiar john's hunger came back and he reached out, ripping off a handful of the loaf and ate. It was indeed similar to what he had had back home. He avoided shell fragments, which he couldn't eat anyways. It was also a bit dry but thankfully the troll had also placed a glass of water nearby. It was taller than him which it was awkward to drink from, he had to ask the troll every time he wanted some water and it would lift him up.

"Aren't you going to have some?" John asked, looking at the troll who had been observing his actions.

"I ALREADY DID. I SHOULD BE ASLEEP ACTUALLY. IT'S NOON"

Josh recalled that trolls were nocturnal or whatever, something that meant they slept during daylight and were awake at night.

the troll yawned, displaying its eerily perfect white fangs that filled its cavernous mouth. When the troll closed it mouh again John noticed it had a slight overbite. Not like how he had buck teeth, a good portion of the troll's fangs fell over its bottom lip.

"DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY?" It asked, narrowing its eyes.

John had not realized he had been gawking up at the troll. Now he stared into its face, into its grey eyes. Its exhaustion an irritation were evident but there was also thoughtfulness in its gaze. He also noticed something else. This troll couldn't be much older than himself. It could even be younger. It was common knowledge that the planet was mainly inhabited by children but they were so huge and ferocious it made no difference to a human. Still the tired look in its face was one similar to ones John had observed on Dave during boring classes back home.

"Uoh ah. Yes. Thank you. For like, saving me."

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"When I ran into you and you ate me. I was trying to get away from ravenous bird. If I hadn't I'd be dead now. Though I definitely didnt think I would survive being eaten by a troll."

"YOU'RE VERY LUCKY IM A TROLL WHO DOESN'T KILL HUMANS."

"Dude you ate me! I should be dead! You can't just eat me and not kill me, that doesn't make sense."

"MAYBE ITS DIFFERENT FOR HUMANS BUT WE TROLLS HAVE CONTROL OVER MOST OF OUR ORGANS. FOR EXAMPLE: THE STOMACH"

"Humans definitely don't have that ability. I didnt know so you scared the shit out of me!"

"ITS NOT MY FAULT YOU TASTE REALLY GOOD. HUMANS I MEAN."

"Thanks?" Join did not like this conversation.

"YOU SPECIFICALLY HOWEVER TASTE SO FUCKING GOOD. TALKING SAVORY BEYOND BELIEF. 10/10 WOULD EAT YOU AGAIN!" The troll smiled for the first time. Almost laughing at its own joke.

If it were under different circumstances John would have laughed. He never let a good joke go unappreciated. But he couldn't laugh.

"Please don't." John muttered.

"IM SORRY WHAT WAS THAT? I COULDNT HEAR YOUR TINY VOICE"

Hesitantly he repeated himself.

"SORRY BUT I DONT MAKE PROMISES I CAN'T KEEP."

John stared at the troll fearfully, bracing himself as if he expected the troll to eat him any second. But it didnt. It just continued to watch John in an almost fascinated way. Or tired, it seemed to be having trouble keeping its eyes open.

Karkat wasn't in the habit of lying. This human tasted especially good and he knew that if it stayed in his hive for any length of time he would end up eating it again. Not today though. What a waste of time and water letting it clean itself. He didnt feel like trying to reassure the human that it would be alright. If it was stupid enough to think he would kill it, after he said and proved he wouldn't, that was too bad. It could leave any time it wanted.

"ARE YOU FINISHED?" He asked, as the human hasn't taken a bite in while and was just looking at the food in its hands. "I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP."

"I can't really stop you now can I?"

Karkat had stood up and taken the plate and glass off the table, placing them in the sink. He didnt reply until returning to the table. The human was sitting down, knees to its chest, staring blankly at a spot on the table.

"MY GOING TO SLEEP OR EATING YOU?"

The human didnt look up. "Both I guess."

"AND I COULD STOP YOU FROM LEAVING. BUT I WON'T"

Now the human looked up. "Leave?" It stood up "Leave and go where? I don't even know what direction my home is in. I'm stuck here, with you."

This had occurred to Karkat already, when he got back to his hive with the human. He didnt know what he had been thinking then. Maybe that he could keep it like a pet? He knew that was fashionable in some places, but he definitely didnt want a human for a pet, he didnt even want a pet.

The human was starting to shake a little.

"ARE YOU GOING TO CRY?"

"No" said the human, too deep in his own thoughts to say anything more. John had never been much of a cryer unless in physical pain or distress. The troll had been so far kept its word in regards to keeping john physically unharmed.

but the troll couldnt stop john from thinking. no matter what he would never see his friends and family again. His eyes were dry but his chest was heavy. If he left he would probably die before he walked a kilometer. if he stayed here than at least he was alive, though that was up to the troll.

Then his chest felt really heavy, like his organs were being pulled down! The troll scooped him up in its palm.

"Aahhhh!" John cried. But the troll kept him from falling and John sat up in its palm. The troll's skin was thick but smooth, it was also pleasantly warm.

The troll was holding him in front of its face, deep in thought. It's breath blew past him gently and steadily.

Eye contact was broken when the troll blinked and sighed deeply, but was instantly fixed as the troll spoke.

"I SUPPOSE I DID THIS TO MYSELF. I FUCKED UP BRINGING YOU HERE. MY HIVE IS LARGE ENOUGH FOR A HUMAN AND A TROLL TO LIVE IN. YOU CAN STAY IF YOU WANT I WON'T FORCE YOU TO LEAVE, BUT IM NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU REMAIN EITHER."

"That's very generous of you," said John. His voice betraying hesitation.

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT IS."

"Do I have to decide now?"

"NOW. TOMORROW. IN A MONTH. IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER"

A part of him sort of hoped the human would choose to stay. He couldn't explain it. Karkat dismissed it as his desire to have a human around that he could eat anytime he wanted.

"Well I'll stay for tonight at least if that's alright."

"IT'S DAYTIME YOU KNOW."

"So?"

"IM GOING TO SLEEP NOW. I CAN'T SAY THE SAME FOR YOU."

"I guess I'll occupy myself for a while then." John had no idea how.

"IF YOU MEAN RUN AROUND MY HIVE THEN I WILL WARN YOU MY LUSUS IS STUPID AND WILL KILL YOU."

The troll stood up and walked out of the kitchen to its room. Still holding him, but closer to its chest, still talking. John could feel its heartbeat as he leaned against it. It was not as loud as when he was inside the troll.

"that's your guardian animal thing right?"

"SO YOU DO HAVE SCHOOL FEEDING. AMAZING."

The troll opened a door to what was unmistakably a bedroom. Except there was no bed. There were posters and shelves of personal items though, and a desktop computer. In a corner was a massive purple tub filled with slime. John recalled from school that troll's sleep in those. He always wondered how they did that without drowning in slime.

"MY LUSUS WON'T COME INTO THE RESPITBLOCK." Karkat informed the human.

"That's good" it replied. It was looking around his room, rapidly taking it in.

"YOU'D BETTER NOT WAKE ME UP GOT IT?" he said as he set the human down on his dresser.

"Yeah sure. Hey can I use your computer?" The human asked.

"UH, OK." Karkat replied without really thinking. It would keep the human occupied while he slept though, but it also had the potential to wake him." JUST DONT MAKE ANY NOISE. WAIT ILL GET MY PERSONAL AUDITORY PLUGS"

The troll picked him back up and took him over to the desk. It got out a pair of earbuds from a drawer and plugged them into the computer. it also turned the computer on, opened a web browser and took him to the video site GrubTube. John didn't mention he could have done all that.

"JUST WATCH VIDEOS. NOTHING ELSE, GOT IT? DO NOT CLICK ON ANYTHING ELSE. I WILL KNOW" The troll's tone was very threatening.

"Got it!" John said.

he watched as the troll climbed into the vat of slime, it didnt even take its clothes off. Its hair stuck out the top, bobbing slightly.

His immediate urge was to explore, to distract himself from thinking about his situation and future. John walked all around the desk. It was a long way down. The cords coming out of the computer were probably climbable but John felt like he should try trusting the troll and not break that trust.

There weren't many other things on the desk other than the computer. All there was was a book, a novel. the cover had some trolls on it and the title was: Black as Night. John opened the cover and found scribbled inside "property of Karkat Vantas". That had to be the name of the troll; it made John wonder if he was property of Karkat Vantas now.

He needed a better distraction so he sat back down in front of the computer screen looking at the featured videos. Nothing seemed that appealing. Troll culture wasn't something he was familiar with. He was taught to avoid them not understand them.  
Finally John clicked a video title "funny lusi #100" which turned out to be a series of clips of the guardian creatures doing ridiculous things, and it was synced perfectly to music. the urge to burst out laughing was difficult to suppress, it was so funny, and John a hard time keeping quiet. The sidebar indicated that there were thousands of similar videos.

Because he wasnt going in order, john lost track of how many videos he watched, the current one was #7327.

Jade would get a kick out of these. The thought sprung in him out of nowhere and John stopped paying attention to the video, which featured a six-limbed reptilian lusus trying to catch flies with its tongue but missing and having its tongue snap back into its face.

The screen became blurry as Jogn removed his glasses, easier to think without them on. The safest choice was to stay. He had lucked out that the troll, Karkat Vantas, was allowing him to stay, allowin him to live. that was the sober truth, and John knew it, yet it felt like giving up. Would it not be worth dying just to try and see his friends again? His subconscious asked. Could he live with the guilt of not even trying?

He felt like he was going to be sick. His heart was going unnaturally fast and he was starting to shake as a future of regret or death seemed to be his only options. Knees wobbling john stood up and immediately started running around the desk as if to run away from the future ang guilt. He wanted to pound his face into the computer, run into it the screen at full speed.

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU RUNNING AROUND LIKE A DECAPITATED CLUCKBEAST? I DIDNT THINK TINY CLAWLESS FEET COULD PRODUCE SUCH A RACKET BUT I WAS WRONG. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?"

Karkat did not like being woken so soon. He'd gotten out of his coon, most of the slime falling cleanly off him save for what stuck to his shirt. He glared down at the human.

It seemed to be in a worse state now; randomly jerking to look in a new directions starting to run in it before abruptly halting to change course. He could hear it breathing short quick breaths.

Pitiful. Oh god why did he keep feeling pity for the human? Didnt matter, it had woken him and would pay the price.

It wasn't hard for him to catch the human, but its wild movements made it risky. Once in his firm grasp it struggled, it didnt look at him though, not until he brought it closer to his mouth.

John grasped the Karkat's index finger instinctually, his own fingers digging into the grey skin, his legs dangling. His hold was strong enough that he didnt fall, even once the troll held him perpendicular to its open maw.

When he looked down he stopped jerkin his head in random directions. The troll was looking up at him, no more frustration than before, but a lot of anticipation, its mouth wide and… Welcoming? That couldn't be right. It was filled with lethal fangs and was a trap he could never hope to escape form. Maybe it was because the troll looked tired too.

All of his instincts told him not to but the troll had promised not to hurt him and he believed that. His heart beat even faster as he let go.

The rough but soft surface he landed on gently wrapped around him, restricting his otherwise erratic movements. then he was sealed into the troll's mouth and was instantly soaked with saliva. The muscle tensed around him and he was pressed against the roof of the mouth and he heard and felt the troll swallow and then relax.

Karkat's heart was still beating fast now too but he was no longer worried that the human would drown in his mouth. It hadnt calmed down though, not that karkat cared. It's wild movements tickled and spread its flavor. He even encouraged it a bit by rolling his tongue around.

this was very different from before, John didn't know if it was the troll acting different or him not being as terrified for his life. The movements of Karkat's tongue seemed less threatening and more thoughtful and playful. It was reassuring and John's heart rate slowed a little.

Suddenly and without warning the troll tipped his head back, swallowing him with a loud gulp. John screamed before he was enclosed by soft muscle that squoze the breath out of him. Being in the troll's mouth was completely different from its throat. He had to get out. He struggled, but could barely move.

The walls of flesh vibrated around him and a clicking/buzzing filled his head. A thumping soon added as John passed by the troll's heart. It was beating very fast, but it was regular and reassuring.

The sounds became Cacophenous as he exited the troll's throat and landed in the no longer empty stomach. the air, though rank and thick, was breathable. John quickly sat up and took deep breaths.

"YOU TASTE EVEN BETTER THAN I REMEMBERED"  
The troll sounded very satisfied. John didnt respond so it added "YOU ALRIGHT?"

John was still full of energy, his mind still buzzing. he tried to stand but fell on his face into the shallow puddle of spit and mucus. He kept trying though.

Karkat forced himself to stop purring and clenched his gut a bit, squeezing the human slightly.

John gasped as The troll's stomach had closed around him, fearing the worst until new sounds reached his ears. Karkat's voice had changed it was soft and he was cooing and shooshing with soothing meter. He released John who lay on the floor of Karkat's stomach, taking in the pitch blackness.

"FEELING BETTER YET?"

John wasnt sure if he was shocked or pulled out of his panic, all he knew was he had stopped shaking and was in control, just very light headed.

"Uh yeah, I'm alright. I just. I was not…" John sat up and tried to wipe the disgusting fluids from his person but it was fruitless. At least the troll had kept his promise, there were no acids or gastric enzymes. "I don't know what happened."

"YOU HAD A PANIC ATTACK AND WOKE ME UP! THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED." Said the Karkat still in its calming voice.

He wasn't panicking anymore. He was just eaten! Again! why was he not panicking? "Sorry about that, I started thinking about home and- well now I'm here again." John apologized. For whatever reason he decided to run his hands along the stomach muscles around him. Warm and soft. The response were shivers from the troll.

Now that he was sure he wasn't going to die, sitting in the troll's gut wasn't so bad. The noises of the troll's insides were funny rather than scary. John wished he could see though, it probably looked gross.

"I TOLD YOU NOT WAKE ME UP!" said the troll. "DONT PRETEND YOU DIDNT ANTICIPATE THIS CONSEQUENCE!"

"I wasn't anticipating anything, but next time, warn me before you swallow" John suggested, kicking at the other side of the troll's stomach.

The troll was glad the human couldn't see him as he smiled. THAT felt interesting, like the opposite of a punch to the solar plexus, except it was more like a poke. He lay a hand over his stomach.

"WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME?"

The human,who had been responding to the sudden constriction its space, froze.

"FUCK! THAT CAME OUT WRONG! YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!

"I thought it was decided I was going to stay here." John said flatly.

"IN MY STOMACH?"

"What no, in your house! Oh you're being rhetorical. anyways, I meant next time you eat me," John yawned. "Just warn me alright Karkat?"

"I WAS RIGHT, YOU ARE INSANE. NOTHING YOU'RE SPOUTING FROM YOUR VOICE PIPES IS MAKING SENSE."

Then the troll fell quite and still for a moment.

"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? IF YOU SNOOPED AROUND ON MY COMPUTER FILES I WILL DIGEST YOU I FUCKING SWEAR!"

"I didnt I swear! Your name is in the book on the desk! Don't kill me!" John cried.

the troll didnt repsond for a while. John could tell the troll moved though, checking his story.

"OH. I GUESS IT IS. SORRY FOR FLIPPING MY SHIT JUSY THEN" said Karkat, "BUT NOW YOU HAVE ME AT A DISADVANTAGE! WHAT IS YOUR NAME?"

For the third time in the same day John was recovering from thinking he was about to die, his mind had gone staticky again but he heard the trolls question. He had enough awareness to answer, "I'm John."

"HUMANS HAVE SUCH SILLY NAMES, BUT ITS EASY TO REMEMBER," replied Karkat.

He put a hand to his stomach and pressed in slightly. He felt the human startle but didnt remove it.

"THAT'S JUST MY HAND NOTHING TO WORRY ABO-"

The human had moved again, now it was pressing again the side of his stomach where his hand was. He could feel the rubbing motions with stomach and his fingers. It trusted him, it had let go and willingly let him eat it. Now Karkat was the one who was lightheaded.

He meandered back to his recuperacoon, keeping his hand on his stomach since the human had not stopped stroking it. His mind was so numbed by the sensations he could barely get into the cocoon but flopped in after several tries.

"What was that?" John asked, having been tossed around a little.

"IM GOING BACK TO SLEEP," said the troll.

"Are you going to let me out?" but John felt he knew the answer.

"NO."

"Yeah ok," John didnt want to leave anyways. The troll would spit him out when it woke up. For now he sat, safe in the damp and the warmth as the heart rate and breathing of the troll slowed. John had made up his mind, he was going to stay.


	2. Chapter 2: Unexpected Reunion

Chapter two of this Homestuck safe-vore fic features John, Jake, and Karkat, with correspondence from Vriska!

—-

"It's dangerous to be out at night."

That's what everyone always said anyway. It wasn't that Jake didn't believe that, he knew all too well how true it was. Life on Alternia was dangerous, especially for humans. Everything on the planet saw them as easy prey and hunted them, including the only other sapient race, trolls. The trolls nocturnal characteristics were the reason the night was more dangerous, but only just, since the daylight meant undead hordes. There was pretty much no safe time for a human to be out.

Nevertheless Jake continued to head deeper into the forest and away from the human settlement. Staying hidden, using the foliage when he could, or at least the shadows, Jake tried his best to be careful. His caution wasn't completely of his own nature. A few years ago his brother, John, had been lost while out in the forest carried off by a bird. Jake hadn't even been there, helpless to stop it.

Looking up he could sometimes see the sky though the thick canopy. Both moons were full, though neither weren't very bright. Their pink and green colors did not serve to effectively reflect enough light to start block out the stars, not as much as the light reflecting off a light grey moon would, which when full could blind someone. No, the bubble gum moons were just pleasant to see, no matter the phase they were in.

The sky was why Jake liked to go out and explore at night, and why he took risks to see it, unobscured by trees. He wasn't about to waltz into a clearing, that would be asking to be attacked by the monstrous creatures that roamed the darkness. He had brought climbing gear with him and set about ascending a tree that looked like it possessed branches that stretched out far enough for a good view of the sky.

WHY DID TEREZI HAVE TO LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GOD DAMN FOREST!? Thought Karkat as he made his way back to his hive. His pace wasn't leisurely, but it wasn't fast either. It would still be several hours until sun up, and he would have to worry about frying his skin off or be caught by a daylight monstrosity. Night was definitely, without a doubt, the safest time to be out on Alternia.

Though it was the dead of night, the world was sufficiently bright for the troll. Their sensitive eyes designed to take in as much light as possible. The forest was full of color, though a lot was shades of pink or green thanks to the moons.

The night had been exhausting. He was looking forward to getting back to his hive.

A scream suddenly reached his ears, high and shrill. He looked up, and something landed on his face. A human had just fallen from the sky!

Before he could react it had scrambled up his face and onto his head. But Karkat soon got over the shock and snatched it up. It screamed again, and flailed in his grasp as he held it in front of his face. The human looked oddly familiar.

His sides started to hurt from the troll's pinching, but tears did not spring to his eyes as Jake looked into the troll's. It was angry, very angry. Shit. The outcome of this situation was grim, but he had a chance, at least trolls were intelligent.

"Pardon me Mr. troll, but if you could let me be on my way, I would much appreciate it," said Jake, trying to sound extra polite. He smiled too, displaying his buck teeth.

The troll just growled, and replied, "YOU SMELL REALLY GOOD LITTLE HUMAN, I BET YOU TASTE GOOD TOO."

"I'm sure I do sir, and I am honored by your complement. I- Uh…"

The troll, who had been wearing a scowl, now broke in to a smile. The expression looked unnatural on the troll. The grin showed off its sharp fangs, and it licked them slowly.

"Please don't eat me! I'm sorry I bothered you," said Jake, his voice now full of fear.

"THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LANDED ON MY FACE," said the troll, holding him over its head as it opened its mouth wide.

Jake couldn't help but look down, down into the glistening maw of the giant. Like the skin on the outside, its mouth was grey too, but it was salivating red. He had never seen that color from a troll before. It looked like blood; like he wasn't the first human it had caught today.

He wasn't going to let the troll eat him if he could stop it. Jake put his feet against the broad side of the troll's fangs, trying to stop his movement towards its mouth. It was a futile move; the troll just used its tongue to flick his feet off its teeth and into its mouth instead.

The human was now doing its best to stop him from eating it, but Karkat was already set in his actions, plus he was having too much fun. He sealed it in his mouth with a click of his fangs.

"SHIT! Please! Let me out!" pleaded the human, clawing at the backside of his teeth, trying to get free. It was hard, there was not much room in the troll's mouth, and it had pinned him to the roof with its tongue.

Karkat's answer was to tip his head back and swallow. The screams of his prey were muffled and its movements completely constricted as it made its way to his stomach.

With his hand, Karkat traced its progress, placing a hand over his stomach when he felt it drop in and start to freak out even more. It scrambled about, its pleas even more desperate. The movements tickled Karkat, who was glad the human wasn't giving up.

Chuckling, Karkat made his way back to his hive.

The door slamming shut woke John up from his sleep. His head hurt a little, he was still tired. He hated being on an opposite sleep cycle with the troll, but decided to stay awake, maybe take a nap later.

He climbed out of his bed, which was really a re-used birdcage that hung from the ceiling. A small rope ladder hung from it all the way to the floor. The cage was never locked, in fact, the lock had been broken off a long time ago.

Now on the floor John looked around the room. It was a respite block, so everything was size to fit a troll, not a human. However, having lived here for a few years now, John was used to it.

As fast has he could, he made his way downstairs to investigate the noise that woke him up; to see if the noise meant Karkat was leaving or returning. But the lack of noise in the hive made him suspect the latter, and indeed, when he finally entered the foyer, the doors of which provided views to others that Karkat usually spent most of his time in, the troll was nowhere to be seen.

John had the whole hive to himself. He could do anything he wanted. Which meant spending the next few hours watching all the TV shows Karkat hated and never let him watch. Karkat always said the shows were "for wrigglers" but John loved them, so screw Karkat's opinions.

At one point the human got up to get food, but for the most part he didn't move from the enormous couch. Then a noise coming from the other room caught his attention. Feeling like he had done nothing for long enough, John forced himself to crawl off the couch.

It was the troll's computer. Karkat had forgotten to turn it off before he left. The noise was from trollian, someone was messaging Karkat, thinking he was online. The pranking opportunity was too great and John could not resist.

He checked who was trying to contact Karkat. Someone with the handle "aracnidsGrip". John felt a bit guilty for reading the messages, but he was also way too curious.

\- aracnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG] -

AG: Hey Karkat, if you aren't 8usy with anything I need to talk to you.

AG: If you are 8usy with something, you should still talk to me. You can put aside your idiotic projects for a second and help me with my way more important ones.

AG: Kaaaaaaaarkat! Where the hell are you!? Dammit, I'm 8eing reduced to coming to you for help and you aren't online.

CG: IM HERE WHAT IS IT?

AG: !

CG: IT MAY SURPRISE YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT ON MY COMPUTER AT ALL TIMES AND MAYBE I STEPPED AWAY FOR A MOMENT.

AG: Uh?

CG: SO I THINK THAT YOU CAN STAND TO SHOW A LITTLE PAITENCE OK.

AG: Who is this?

CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THIS IS KARKAT

AG: I'm not stupid, I know he's at Terezi's.

CG: HE IS? I MEAN, I AM? HOW DO YOU KNOW?

AG: Ok, you're going to stop this act or I will m8ke you. I know 8ecause I was talking to Terezi a while ago, and she seemed distracted 8y someone. Now you didn't answer my questions. Who are you?

CG: I'm a friend of katkat's.

AG: What friend? I know all his friends and you don't sound like any of them! You could just 8e someone who stole his computer, 8ut that so unlikely to 8e true. Who would want to steal his stupid computer?

CG: no, he doesn't talk about me much I'd expect. I have never met many of his other friends at all. Karkat doesn't think I should, but like you said, he isn't here right now!

AG: Well then, mystery friend, what is your name?

CG: it's John!

AG: That name's so dum8 I almost think you just made it up

CG: nope, it's my real name, what's yours?

AG: My name's Vriska.

CG: that's a cool name!

AG: You think so? Thanks John :::: )

CG: so why are you trying to contact Karkat?

AG: It's not important really, I was making it sound more urgent than it really is just to 8ug him. Don't tell him th8t! F8ck that would 8e so 8ad!

CG: you want me to delete this conversation after?

AG: Yes that would be gr8!

AG: Lord knows that's more than other people would do.

CG: I will be sure to get right on that then.

AG: Say, do you have your own account?

CG: no, sorry.

AG: Well you should, then you wouldn't have to use Karkat's when you talk to me again.

CG: wait shit

AG: John, is something wrong?

CG: sorry vriska, I got to go!

The human's heart skipped a beat when he heard the door open and shut. If he was found in the computer room, he would be in so much trouble. As fast as he could, John scrambled down from the desk and onto the floor. Running, he went to greet Karkat. He worried that the troll would notice which room he came from, but luckily Karkat didn't notice him until he was at his feet and looked down a bit surprised at the human.

"JOHN YOU CAN'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT! WHAT IF I DIDN'T SEE YOU?"

"Sorry Karkat, won't happen again," said John.

"GOOD," said the troll.

The troll seemed to actually be in a good mood. Too good. It was a mood John knew very well, but was rarely privy to actually seeing it on Karkat's face.

"Karkat," said John "You ate a human didn't you?"

"DAMN, HOW'D YOU KNOW?" Karkat looked a little embarrassed, but also proud.

"You're just a bit too cheerful," said John.

"I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT. I DON'T KNOW WHY THE FUCK IT MATTERS THOUGH" Karkat knelt down and picked John off the floor. He walked over to the common area and sat in the comfiest chair.

"Well?" said John, as he was released and sat on the armrest.

"WELL WHAT?" snapped Karkat.

"Does it know you're not going to actually digest it?" asked John, though he knew the answer.

"FUCK NO. IF THEY KNOW, THEY DON'T STRUGGLE, AND THAT'S NO FUN JOHN!" The human in his stomach wasn't actually struggling anymore. Karkat could hear it though; it was just sort of sulking. It must be really dumb not to have caught on by now, but Karkat meant to keep it that way as long as he could.

"I thought you said you wouldn't do that anymore," said John.

"NOT DO WHAT?"

"Eat humans!"

"NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. YOU GUYS ARE TOO DELICIOUS."

"I meant other humans. You're supposed to eat me instead, we talked this! Humans get enough trouble from other trolls as it is!"

"IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS OUT LOOKING FOR HUMANS TO EAT. WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR? GOD. I JUST FOUND IT. OR IT FOUND ME. LANDED RIGHT ON MY HEAD"

"So you ate it!?"

"YEAH. AND IT TASTED AWESOME SO IT WAS SO WORTH IT!"

"Well spit it back out then!"

"NAH"

"Will you at least tell it that it's not going to die?"

"HOW ABOUT YOU TELL IT!" said Karkat mischievously.

"Oh come on, one wasn't enough?"

"IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU THINK YOU HAVE A SAY IN THIS" said Karkat, but instead of just grabbing John from his spot on the armrest, he held out his hand for John to climb onto.

John pinched the bridge of his nose. "I was hoping to maybe stay dry today. But fine." He took off his glasses and put them in his pocket before stepping on to the troll's palm and sitting down on it. Karkat brought his hand to his face.

With care, Karkat angled his hand so that John slid into his mouth. He did not immediately swallow the human, but rolled him around with his tongue, savoring the flavors. He had to admit, he had not yet eaten a human that was as tasty as John, though the one already occupying his stomach came close.

Trolls tongues were rough and thick. John suspected it was because their teeth were very sharp, and if they weren't thick, they would shred their tongues. But with Karkat salivating so much, the texture of Karkat's tongue was less noticeable to the human. He lay on his back, looking up at the roof of Karkat's mouth.

He felt John tickling his pallet as a signal that he was in a comfortable position. Much more gently than he had done with Jake, Karkat tipped his head back and swallowed.

Even though John knew it was safe, it was still a shock, and he struggled against it. It was partially on purpose, since he knew Karkat liked the feeling. He could hear the troll sighing happily around him. When John entered Karkat's stomach he landed on top of the other human. It screamed in confusion and tried to push John off of him.

"Oooowwwwww" said John, having landed oddly, "dammit"

After a lot of confused scrambling about, which pleased Karkat to no end, the two humans settled down, sitting in damp darkness. The space was confined, so they were shoulder to shoulder.

"Hey, my name is John. I just wanted to tell you that-" John started to introduce himself and explain but was interrupted.

"J-John!?" said the other human.

"Um… yeah?" said John, very confused.

"But you are, I mean were, oh no…" A few seconds later it started crying.

"Do I know you?" asked John.

It was no use putting his glasses back on since it was pitch black, but the voice sounded familiar. Realization hit him like a sack of bricks.

"I- I'm your brother!" said the young man.

"Holy shit, JAKE?!"

Jake started crying harder.

John could not believe it. It was his older brother. Jake sounded a bit different, but it had been years since they'd seen each other. It occurred to him that everyone though he was dead.

"Right. This is not the ideal place for a reunion, I get that, but hey, guess what! I'm alive!"

"What does that matter!? Were both going to die now!" said Jake.

"OH YEAH, WONDERFUL JOB REASSURING HIM SO FAR, JOHN" said Karkat suddenly, voice dripping with snide sarcasm.

"Shut up Karkat, I got this!"

"Wha- what's going on?" asked Jake.

John had responded to the voice of the troll, he was sure of it. Called it by a name too, and it knew John's! Something was very odd about all of this.

"Jake," said John, taking a deep breath, "you need to calm down, we are not going to die."

"But we were eaten!" said Jake.

"Yeah, I know that. but think, how long have you been here? don't you think you should be dead already?"

That stopped him crying. Jake thought about it. Though he had lost track of time, he had been inside the troll long enough. He definitely should be dead by now.

"Why aren't I dead?"

"Because Karkat is a big softy," said John.

"HEY! THAT'S INSULTING!" said Karkat.

"I still don't understand," said Jake.

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE DUMB, LIKE ALL HUMANS. DUMB, AND REALLY TASTY."

"Stop it Karkat, you aren't helping!" said John, as Jake started to sob again.

"I WASN'T TRYING TO HELP, NOOKSTUFFER!"

"Shut up!" said John, then turned his attention back to Jake.

"It's pretty simple Jake, you are not dead because Karkat doesn't kill humans!"

"How do you know?!" said Jake frantically.

"Well, since he found me three years ago, he hasn't killed me," said John.

"But he just ate you!"

"Yeah, well he does that sometimes, I don't really mind," said John.

"YOU DON'T MIND?" sneered Karkat.

"Arg ok, yes, I won't deny that enjoyment is not entirely one-sided," said John.

"You're insane" said Jake.

"Probably" affirmed John, "but I am alive, and so are you,"

"If he doesn't kill you, what does he do?"

"He just spits me back out," said John.

"Can he spit me back out, now? I don't like it here,"

"Karkat?" asked John.

"YEAH I HEARD. DO I HAVE TO?"

"I will stay here if that is what you want, but I think you should let Jake out now," said John.

"FINE!" said Karkat. He had forgotten how good it felt to have more than one human in his stomach at once, and was not ready to give up that feeling. Still, at least John was more than willing to stay there, and would give him belly rubs if he asked for it later. The troll sat up, and clenched his middle, forcing himself to bring up one of the humans. It was not as pleasant as swallowing one.

The human that was not John slid out of his mouth and onto a waiting hand. It just sat there, stunned.

"ARE YOU OK?" asked Karkat.

"You. You actually let me out. I- I thought I wouldn't ever see light again. BECAUSE YOU ATE ME!" said Jake.

"HAHAHA, YEAH I KNOW. YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKED FOR SURE!"

"Seriously Karkat, you need to stop scaring him!" called John, who Jake was able to hear at a very low volume. "Does he still not believe us!?"

Karkat rolled his eyes.

"I'm not scared anymore. And I believe you. I believed you when right when John said I wasn't going to die. I've just had more than my share of unfortunate mishaps believing people to readily."

"YOU MEAN LIKE THIS ONE?" asked Karkat.

"If you are referring to my getting caught by you, no. That was just pure dumb luck," said Jake.

"GUESS YOU'RE DUMBER THAN JOHN! THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS IF IT WASN'T PATHETIC," said Karkat

"How did John end up here anyway? He went missing so long ago, we all thought he was dead!"

"PRETTY MUCH THE SAME WAY YOU DID. IS THIS REALLY IMPORTANT?"

"Oh… No, I suppose not. I was just wondering you know, curious and all you know?"

"NOT REALLY. YOUR HUMAN CURIOSITY IS SO STUPID. ACTUALLY, I DO KNOW. JOHN IS ALWAYS BEING NOSEY! FUCK. ARE ALL HUMANS LIKE THAT?"

"Hey, what are you talking about? I can only hear Karkat in here!" asked John.

"THANKS FOR PROVIDING A SHINING EXAMPLE JOHN," said Karkat.

"What?" John responded.

"He can't hear me? But I can hear him," said Jake, "how does that work?"

"YEAH WELL, HE'S SHOUTING," Karkat informed Jake. "IT'S MUCH LOUDER TO ME. IN FACT IT IS ANNOYING"

"Very subtle Karkat," said John, this time not loud enough for Jake to hear him.

"That is so cool!" said Jake.

"THAT'S WHAT JOHN SAID TOO! I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. AGAIN, ARE ALL HUMANS SO STRANGE OR IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE RELATED?"

"I would hazard to say it is just us," said Jake, "Is there anyway to allow John to hear me?"

"MAYBE IF YOU GOT CLOSER AND SHOUTED RIGHT AT HIM. BUT THAT'S NOT HAPPENING,"

"Why not?" asked Jake, suddenly concerned.

"BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE FUCKING INCONVENIENT," said Karkat. "ANYWAYS, DO YOU HEAR SOMETHING?"

Jake was surprised at the question, and the troll stopped talking. He did hear a noise, a sort of beeping. It came from somewhere else in the hive.

"Yeah I hear it. What is it?" Jake asked.

"IT SOUNDS LIKE THE COMPUTER," said Karkat.

The moment he said those words he felt John squirm in his stomach.

John sat up from his reclined position. He knew the noise was the computer; John had forgotten to logged off, and had not deleted the conversation. He hadn't even closed the conversation!

"JOHN, WOULD YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW WHAT THAT NOISE IS?"

"I can't hear anything," said John, his voice betraying his guilt.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO JOHN?" asked Karkat.

But didn't wait for an answer. He gripped Jake as he stood up and walked out of the room and into the room with the computer. An icon was flashing on it. It was the trollian icon.

Placing the human next to the keyboard, Karkat sat down and opened trollian. What came up was a conversation with Vriska from earlier today, one he didn't remember having. One he couldn't have had, judging by the time it took place.

"JOHN YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

"Oh yeah, I was going to tell you… I talked to Vriska today!"


End file.
